


You Can't Spell Landon Kirby Without LOKI

by Cassandra_Elise



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), Marvel (Comics), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Ancient Egyptian Deities, Crack, Crack Crossover, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Humor, Marvel Norse Lore, Mentions of Tom Hiddleston
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-09-03 03:03:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16754809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandra_Elise/pseuds/Cassandra_Elise
Summary: Lizzie Saltzman thinks she's figured out who or what Landon Kirby is, but Hope is going to need some convincing. Fortunately, Josie and M.G. are there to help....Now with Chapter 3: Weeks after everything that transpired in the series finale, the crew is finally able to take some down time to recharge their batteries. Landon is shocked to discover Lizzie's harebrained theory about his identity. Definite spoilers for the finale. Sort of a fix-it fic.





	1. You Can't Spell Landon Kirby Without LOKI

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heartless_Sigyn (Alexis_Rockford)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Rockford/gifts).



> This is what happens when I have writer's block: I come up with ridiculous plot bunnies. My sister and I were talking about who or what Landon is in the Legacies canon, and this crack theory emerged. Please note, this is not meant to be taken seriously, though I do believe I came up with some compelling evidence. ;)

“You have to admit the evidence is compelling,” M.G. spoke around a chunk of masticated hamburger. When he spotted Hope opening her mouth to retort, he quickly swallowed and added, “And no, that was not a Vampire pun.”

Hope scoffed. “The evidence is not compelling. It’s asinine, stupid, idiotic--”

“Someone’s been paying attention in Mrs. Fritz’s English class,” Josie teased.

Hope rounded on the brunette. “You’re not saying you believe your sister’s...hokum?”

“Hokum?” M.G. reiterated. “Yeah, definitely been paying attention in that English class.”

Elizabeth was sagely ignoring her friends’ aspersions. “If you’re all done,” she began with the air of martyr, “I’d like to draw your attention to exhibit A: Landon creates chaos wherever he goes. Loki was the god of chaos and mischief.”

Hope drummed her fingers impatiently on the granite kitchen counter. “And Penelope breaks hearts, so she must be Aphrodite or Venus.”

Josie rolled her eyes. “Not hardly.”

“Nah, she wouldn’t be Aphrodite or Venus,” M.G. agreed. “Those chicks are from the wrong mythology. She _could_ be Amora.” After receiving a bunch of blank stares, he explained, “From the _Thor_ comics?”

Lizzie was losing her cool. “WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE COMICS!” she shrieked. A unison chorus of shushing brought her voice down a few decibels. “We’re talking about Norse mythology,” she hissed, her eyes narrowed at Hope. “Considering your Aunt Freya is named after one of those gods, I would think you would have a more vested interest in it.”

“They’re myths,” Hope insisted. “They don’t exist in reality.”

“Just like gargoyles, dragons, and giant spiders don’t exist?” Josie pointed out.

Lizzie’s eyes gleamed triumphantly at Hope’s mutinous silence. “Exhibit B: Landon lies _all_. _the_. _time_. And he always has some weird excuse. He’ll say he didn’t mean to lie, or it just came out that way. Loki was a trickster god. His default mode was lying to save his sorry butt.”

“So you’re saying he’s Loki, but he doesn’t know he’s Loki, and he’s just acting on impulse?” Hope scrunched her forehead in confusion. “That doesn’t make sense!”

“Sure it does!” M.G. was clearly warming to the idea, and no one could tell if it was because of his interest in Lizzie or in comic books. Probably both. “In one universe of the comics, Loki gets sent back to earth as an orphaned kid with no memories of his past life or evil deeds. Eventually, his old self starts manifesting himself in Kid Loki, and there’s this epic battle between good and evil.” He gasped as the thought struck him. “Landon’s an orphan, too!”

Lizzie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, what M.G. said.”

“You just said, and I quote, ‘we’re not talking about the comics.’ Now suddenly the comics are part of your proof?” Hope threw her arms in the air in disgust. “Listen, just because you want Tom Hiddleston to suddenly appear in the hallways of our school does not mean you can make up ridiculous allegations about Landon.”

Elizabeth snorted derisively. “Hope, please. Tom Hiddleston is an _actor_. I’m talking about the _real Loki_.”

Josie squirmed uncomfortably, hoping to go unnoticed, but her sister’s sharp eyes detected her. “Spit it out, Jo.”

Josie hesitated. “Well, it’s kinda dumb, but Landon Kirby’s name has the letters L-O-K-I in it, and it sounds a bit like Loki if you say it too fast.”

M.G. choked on the remains of his burger. “Jack Kirby was one of the original _Thor_ writers--well, penciller-plotter, if you want to get specific. What if the gods gave him that last name as an in-joke when they sent him back to earth?”

Hope accidentally dispelled a wave a magic that shattered the glasses in the sink. “Oh. my. god. You are all ridiculous, and I’m done talking to you.”

“Just think about it, Hope,” Lizzie called after her receding form. “There’s gotta be some reason the guy can’t be compelled and is a walking tornado of chaos…”

Hope stalked off toward the school’s private lake. “Landon is Loki,” she muttered under her breath. “Ridiculous. Absurd.”

“What’s absurd?” came the low timbre of the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

Hope cringed as she turned to face Landon. He was clearly on his way back from his own moment of solitude at the lake. “Um, nothing important. Lizzie was talking boy drama.” It wasn’t entirely untrue. The Saltzman sister _had_ been making up drama about Landon!

Landon surveyed her quietly for a moment, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “You’re a poor liar.”

Enraged, Hope lashed out. “Well, we can’t all be expert liars like you, Landon.”

His eyes got that wounded puppy look that she was all to familiar with. “Sorry. I told you I sometimes don’t even know why I’m lying.”

Hope tried to push the words of her friends from her mind, but they resonated in the forefront like a clarion. “Yeah, I sometimes do magic without meaning to,” she began as her way of an apology. “I broke a bunch of glasses in the kitchen a couple of minutes ago. Just whoooosh! Let out a big wave of magic, and bye bye glassware!”

He smiled at her awkward attempt at conversation. “I wish I had magical abilities.”

Hope frowned. “You do?”

“Yeah, it would be cool to be able to transport from one location to another like in _Harry Potter_ or conjure an item from nothing, or--” he paused for a moment, embarrassed.

“Go on,” Hope cajoled.

He looked down at his scuffed sneakers as he spoke, “Or, you know, turn into different animals at will. I mean, I know that werewolves have the curse attached to them, but surely there’s some kind of magical being that can turn into whatever it wants?” He looked at Hope for affirmation.

Hope shook her head slowly. “Not that I’ve heard of, except for…” She paused.

It was his turn to encourage her. “Except for?”

“Well, gods and goddesses in mythology tend to have all those powers you listed. But they don’t exist in real life.”

“As far as you know,” Landon interjected.

Hope felt her stomach sink. Not this conversation again. It was absurd to think Norse gods were running around earth causing pandemonium...and yet, she was a tribrid, going to school with a bunch of other witches, vampires, and werewolves, fighting off a plethora of creatures that she had believed, until just a few weeks ago, didn’t exist. Could she really say anything was beyond the realm of possibility? “Yeah,” she smiled weakly, “as far as I know.”

Landon nodded in satisfaction as he continued on his way back to the school. She watched his retreating figure until he was nothing more than a speck amidst the dense forest foliage. Trickster god or something else, she would get to the bottom of Landon’s powers. And when she did, she would be willing to accept anything this crazy universe had to offer her.


	2. Kirby is the Norse Word for Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their bizarre road trip, Hope fills Ric in on his daughter's crazy theory about Landon, and Ric has a few theories of his own. Spoilers for Episode 9.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so did anyone notice that Selah threatened to seal Landon's lips with an iron, much like Odin sewed Loki's lips shut in the myths? No? Just me?

“So my daughter thinks Landon is Loki?” Alaric Saltzman spoke each word succinctly, as if making sure he had heard correctly.

“I know. Pretty crazy theory, right?” Hope was suddenly self-conscious about broaching the subject with her headmaster.

“After everything we learned about Landon, or rather _you_ learned, and I forgot, it’s not _that_ crazy.” Seeing her disbelieving look, he added, “Not that I think Landon _is_ the god of mischief. I can’t imagine Landon giving birth to an eight-legged horse. You know, because Loki--”

“Yeah yeah, Sleipnir,” Hope interrupted him. “Got the Norse mythology reference. I’m passing AP English, too.”

Ric coughed apologetically. “Anyways, while I’m not sure Landon is Loki, his being a half-god doesn’t seem completely outside the realm of possibilities.”

Hope raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You believe gods exist?”

Dr. Saltzman laughed sardonically. “My buddy Damon Salvatore once made a deal with the Devil, who ended up being an ancient mystic by the name of Cade. So yeah, why not?”

Hope made a mental note to ask Mr. Salvatore about that the next time she saw him in town--that is, if he was willing to talk. Damon Salvatore didn’t exactly exude kindness and warmth, unlike his wife Elena, who was probably a cheerleader in high school.

Ric shrugged. “I’m not saying they’re gods in the traditional sense, but what if all of the stories from the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Norse were actually based in reality? What if those ‘gods’ were originally supernatural beings like you who were erased from existence in Malivore and the only reminder of them are now the mythology we have come to know?”

“So Landon is the son of a ‘god’ and Selah?”

“Sure! Think about all the stories of Zeus. He sees a woman he likes, he impregnates her, and whoosh! Hercules is born.”

“Landon is Hercules?” Hope’s head was spinning. “But he doesn’t have any super strength.”

“I’m not saying he’s any particular god or demi-god we have in our collective mythology. He could be a brand new creation, or…” Dr. Saltzman rubbed a hand over his chin thoughtfully.

“Or?” Hope prompted.

“Or he _could_ be the reincarnation of some god like Loki.” He smirked as Hope rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“What about Anubis?” Hope supplied. When Alaric stared at her questioningly, she explained, “I was researching the Canopic jar that’s come into our possession. It’s a representation of Anubis.”

“Ah yes, the Egyptian god of death. Quite fitting that his jar should be a key to the land of dead and forgotten supernatural beings. Sure, maybe Landon is an Egyptian half-god, instead of Norse.” Ric grinned. “Although, you know the name _Kirby_ is from the Norse word for _church_.”

Hope scowled. “Oh, for Pete’s sake! He was found on the steps of a church. That’s why his name is Kirby. It has nothing to do with him being a Norse deity.”

“Whoever found him could have used the Scottish word for _church_ and called him _Kirk_ , but they didn’t,” he persisted. Seeing Hope’s noticeable pout, he let out a low chuckle. “You really don’t want your boyfriend to be Loki, do you?”

“I guess it’s too much to ask that my first boyfriend be normal. Though, if my new boyfriend is a half-god, why doesn’t he have any powers?”

Ric leaned back in his desk chair, let out a sigh, and shook his head. “That’s the million dollar question. Perhaps he has latent powers that haven’t awoken yet?”

“M.G. said it had something to do with him having his memory erased like kid Loki.”

“I’m not an expert on comic books, but maybe? Or maybe Landon’s so powerful that he has a heavy-duty binding spell on him, preventing him from blasting us all to kingdom come?” When he saw his student’s horrified expression, he added quickly, “But probably not. This is all just conjecture. We won’t know until we learn more about the place where he was conceived.”

“And how are we going to learn more about a place that no one remembers?”

Ric’s face turned grim. “We look to the keys, like this Anubis jar, and we depend on the one person who actually remembers what she’s been told about Malivore.”

Hope swallowed around the lump in her throat. So much of her boyfriend’s past and future was dependent on her. Even more crucially, so much of the safety of the school--hell, the whole world--was riding on her inexperienced shoulders. She just hoped she was up to the task.

Hope traipsed to Landon and Rafael’s room, where she tentatively knocked on the door. When no one answered, she peeked her head inside only to discover Rafael gone and a lump of blankets on Landon’s bed. Was Landon that lump? Was he okay? With a shaky breath, she tried to quell her fear as she tiptoed up to his bed to check on him. When she got nearer, she realized Landon was fast asleep, bundled up from head to toe in his blankets. Her stomach did a clichéd flip-flop at seeing her boyfriend so vulnerable and peaceful.

“Oh, Landon. What on earth--no, who on earth are you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he mumbled drowsily before turning over and resuming his steady breathing.

“I really would,” she whispered. “We could use your supernatural powers right about now.”


	3. I Am a God, You Dull Creature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeks after everything that transpired in the series finale, the crew is finally able to take some down time to recharge their batteries. Landon is shocked to discover Lizzie's harebrained theory about his identity. Definite spoilers for the finale. Sort of a fix-it fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set this story in season two with the assumption that Hope will be saved at some point from obscurity.

_Despite the pain coursing through his body from the sudden crash through the glass window, Loki managed to stand erect and proud, his eyes flashing with the manic glow of the mind stone’s power. “Enough! You are all of you beneath me!” he bellowed, his spittle glancing off the floor. Even the brainless green behemoth seemed momentarily shaken by his testimony. “I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by--”_

_And just like that, Hulk snatched him by his legs and whacked him to the ground like a rag doll. One. Two. Three times in succession. A tiny pause to ascertain if he was still conscious, and then the beatings commenced. “Puny god,” the green mammoth sneered as he strode away._

_Loki lay on the floor, his lungs deflating with a pitiful whimper. And then he froze, suspended in time._

“What the hell, man?” M.G. pivoted on the sofa in Alaric’s personal entertainment room to fix Landon with a death glare. “Why’d you pause the movie?”

Landon’s one hand was clutching the remote control, while his other hand was grazing Hope’s arm. Ever since Hope’s return from Malivore, the two were literally inseparable, always clinging to each other or in each other’s personal space, as if afraid to be out of each other’s sight for an instance. “I’m sorry, M.G., but his face is so hilarious,” Landon managed to get out around his chuckles.

“Really? You’re laughing at Loki’s pain?” M.G. was affronted.

“I think you’re supposed to,” Landon quipped. Seeing that the vampire was still scowling at him, he continued, “I’m not laughing at the pain of a real person, dude. Come on.”

“Lizzie would disagree,” Hope muttered.

M.G. tried to silence his friend with a round of _shushing,_ but it was too late. Landon stared at Hope incredulously. “Lizzie believes in Norse gods?”

Hope ignored M.G.’s arm waving. “Not only that, but she thought _you_ were Loki for a while.” She paused for a moment to snuggle up to her boyfriend. “It’s not as crazy as it sounds. She had some compelling evidence.”

Landon blinked rapidly. He looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t know where to begin. Just as he was about to click _play_ on the remote, the aforementioned witch came flouncing into the room with her sister trailing behind her.

Lizzie waved a perfectly manicured hand. “Hi, M.G., Hope...Gollum.”

Landon rolled his eyes. “Oh, I get it. My dad was a golem, and you’re always comparing me to a hobbit, so you decided to call me _Gollum_. Very funny.”

Lizzie simpered. “I thought it was clever.”

After her miraculous return, Hope had apprised everyone of Landon’s upbringing. She was not going to make the same mistake as last time of keeping secrets. Considering he was basically an immortal demigod, Landon had taken the news in stride. At least on the surface, he appeared rather nonchalant about being related to one of the most powerful magical beings the Salvatore school had ever encountered. Others, like Lizzie Saltzman, were not hiding their confusion as well.

Josie had an adorable pout on her lips. “Looks like we’ll have to watch our chick flick later, sis.”

Hope raised an eyebrow. “You like chick flicks?”

“As a general rule, no. But this is one of Mom’s favorites, and we thought we’d watch it to forget about the Gemini crap for a while,” Josie explained.

Lizzie crossed her arms over her chest. “Ugh, you’re watching _another_ Avengers movie _?_ ”

“I told you we were doing a marathon,” M.G. replied.

“You have to share the big screen, you guys.”

“Your dad gave us permission to be in here,” M.G. retorted.

“But some of us don’t like _comic book movies_ ,” Lizzie said the last three words like a curse.

Landon felt his temper flare. “Really? Even if the movie has Loki in it?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Josie asked, genuinely confused.

“Just that I heard Lizzie might have a _widdle_ crush on the god of mischief.” Landon nodded at the frozen image of Loki on the floor. “So much that she tried to convince everybody that _I_ was him.”

Lizzie’s face ashened, and she rounded on M.G. “YOU TOLD HIM?”

Hope rubbed her neck and shifted in her seat. “I’m sorry, Lizzie. It was me.” Before her frenemy could unleash her full anger, she continued, “But look on the bright side. You _were_ mostly right. Landon is as about as close to a god that we’ve encountered so far.”

“Yeah, you just didn’t pick the right deity because we didn’t know Malivore existed,” M.G. quickly added.

Landon felt a roiling sensation in the pit of his stomach. It was surreal to hear the words “god” and “deity” attached to his name. He had gone from being a homeless orphan with no considerable talent to a demigod with phoenix abilities.

With the other two doing damage control on her sister, Josie was the only one who noticed anything amiss with Landon. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

Landon feigned a smile. “Just peachy.”

Lizzie’s wrath was momentarily assuaged by the ego-stroking. “I _was_ pretty clever, wasn’t I?” She shoved her way between M.G. and Hope on the couch. “Well, let’s get the movie started again.”

Hope raised an eyebrow. “You’re staying?”

“Might as well, seeing as I can’t watch my own film.”

Josie plunked down in an armchair. “Can we go back a little bit? I love seeing Loki get Hulk-smashed.”

“I know, right?” Landon exclaimed. “It’s so friggin’ hilarious.” He rewound to the beginning of the scene and pressed play.

_Once again, the dark-haired Loki stood tall and erect, his eyes aglow with the frenetic energy of the mind stone. “Enough! You are all of you beneath me!” he screamed with oral interp that would make a theatre critic swoon._

In the audience, another dark-haired being murmured along with his fictional comrade:

_“I. am. a. god.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a ride. Back in November, my sister and I came up with the theory that Landon was a god of some sort. While he is not Loki like we jokingly suggested, he is as close to a god as we've seen in the TVD universe so far. I'm proud of my deductive reasoning LOL. Thanks for sticking around and reading!


End file.
